Its November and Thanksgiving is almost here.
I wonder if this will be the last one we will share with my mom.
It would be cruel if she were to continue this way into 2009.
I walk by her bedroom to see if her eyes are open or closed.
If she's awake, I crawl up on the bed and lay beside her.
We hold hands and she sometimes smiles. She has a white teddy bear in her arms which she indicates is her friend. She says a little sentence and we pretend we are having a conversation.
I've been interviewing for jobs again, and soon I will be back in the working world, doing something that doesn't really matter. I'd like to stay with her, but I have to pay the bills and the mortgage, so I'm trying to make the most out of being here with her now.
This December 27th will be my parents 50th wedding anniversary.
I hope she's with us until then. I wonder if this is something my dad thinks about.
They always made a big deal of the number of years they were married.
Maybe I should go out and buy them a traditional "50 Years" platter to mark the day.
Its hard to care about anything these days. My dad and I don't enjoy our food anymore. I make great soup or even a chocolate cake - but they seem void of flavor.
I can't sleep much, so I get up early and try to write. My dad tinkers on things in the garage.
I think its so apprapo that winter is coming. The leaves are almost gone and the wind and rains are here. It seems like nature is mimicking what's happening with my mom. Surprisingly, the last of the roses are on our table. My dad rescued 4 yellow rose buds and put them in a vase on the kitchen table. Now they are in bloom.
Yellow is my mom's best color, go figure.
